Empty Bucket

I used to blog frequently... another blog, another time. Sometimes I had a point, sometimes I just wrote to hear myself talk, and sometimes it was somewhat therapeutic- I never expected any answers, but I often felt better just getting it out of my system. This is going to be one of those posts. I don't expect any answers, heck, I don't even expect anyone to read it, but I do hope to feel better after writing.

I'm a "nice" person. I'm not saying I don't have a mean bone in my body, 'cause I do. But it's a small one, and it must be in my head, 'cause that's where the mean thoughts usually start and end. I'm sure in my youth I probably used it some, but I don't recall ever saying or doing anything to purposefully hurt another person. That's not to say I don't get upset, get mad, or get my feelings hurt. I do, and sometimes too often. But I deal with it. Usually internally. Yeah, I keep stuff to myself a lot. But I do it to protect others. I don't want anyone worrying about me. I don't want people to walk on eggshells around me. And for the most part I'm a happy go lucky kinda girl. And I'm very good at putting on a happy face, so that even when things are bothering me, I seldom let on to others. And I like to do for others; I enjoy making other people happy, making them feel good, doing things for others. That's just the way I roll.

I read a book to my students at the first of the year about a happiness bucket. We all have one. Your bucket is filled when you do things for others; when you make them feel good. You fill your bucket by filling the bucket of others. But lately I find my bucket depleted. Many of the people I love and care about are going through trying times. No one has been ugly to me, or done anything to me to cause me to feel bad. I guess I just spend so much time worrying about others, that I'm emptying my bucket faster than it can be filled. Lately I find myself tired, drained of energy, and near tears. And for that I feel bad, almost guilty for even writing this. I have little about which to complain. I have wonderful friends and family who love me. I have a good job. I have a nice home. I am comfortable. Just last week in class we talked about wants and needs. The four needs are food, shelter, clothing, and love- and I have those things in abundance. So why then do I often feel so sad? It's silly, huh?

Now that it's all written down, maybe I can let go of it, and hopefully feel better. We'll see... keep your fingers crossed!

Goodbye, my friend

Well, it's been a year since I have posted here. I guess I just haven't had much to say. Before I could write anything, I had a lot of dusting to do around here. And I had to do it quickly, so my tears wouldn't turn the dust into mud. Yes, my friends, it is with heavy heart and many tears that I write this post. I am writing to say goodbye to a dear, dear friend. His name was Brian, but I met him as "Alex" and Alex he will always be to me.

I don't actually remember when I met Alex, but it must have been 10 years or more. He created a chat room on AOL where we all met up. Many good time and laughs shared there. About three years ago Alex became interested in Internet radio, and he became a DJ. As a DJ at HotTrax Radio, Alex did a show on Monday mornings. And what a great show he put on! DJ Alex always had a well planned and thought out show. His shows were well rounded- they included a variety of music. And he always had interesting facts to go along with his tunes. After I became a DJ, I realized just how much work Alex put into his shows. The ease, the charm, the wit that came through in Alex's show were pure Alex. Alex's personality came through in his shows as they did in real life.

When Alex became ill, he was determined not to let it define him. His personality, his outlook on life, never changed. He continued living life to the fullest. I'm sure there were hard days for him, but he never let it show. His love for his friends never wavered. He was the glue that held us together. When my life took a different path, and I didn't get around to our weekly meetings very often, he continued to keep me up on what the others were doing.

I never got the opportunity to meet Alex in person. I regret that, but I know he would have been the same wonderful man that I had come to know and love on the internet. In the last few months I didn't have a chance to visit much with him. His shows were on Monday mornings, and I was usually at work. He needed more rest, so he was seldom able to stay up to catch my shows. The last time I spoke with him was the Monday I had off for Martin Luther King Day in January. It was one of his last shows. His show was wonderful as always. I filled in for DJ Sierra that day, so he caught part of my show then. I never imagined it would be the last time I would talk to him, but it was a good day. I'm glad I have that memory.

When I started this blog, I set out to interview the DJs at HotTrax. Alex was the first one to respond. If you are interested, you can read that post here http://dj-texastalk.blogspot.com/2008/11/dj-alex.html .

Tomorrow we will be having a tribute to Alex on HotTrax Radio. It will be hard for us all, but something we all want to do. I wish we could do more.

Rest in peace, Alex. I imagine you are enjoying your pint, and DJing for the angels. Enjoy, my friend, and know you will be missed- gone from us, but never forgotten. Love, Snowy

Stirrin' up Memories... and dust!

Off and on the past couple of weeks I have tackled my garage. When I moved in here 2 1/2 years ago, I couldn't get a car in the garage for all of the boxes. With my brother's help, we managed to move the boxes around, and with a lot of stacking, I could get my truck inside. But the garage was still a wreck. I bought lots of plastic containers after that first Christmas and packed and labeled all the Christmas stuff. That helped, but it was still rough. And instead of getting better, I just seemed to be collecting more stuff. It seems like every time my child came home from college, she cleaned out her car... and stacked more stuff in my garage. After my brother's divorce, I collected boxes of his stuff out there, too.

A couple of weeks ago, inspired by my boyfriend, I went to work. I bought shelves and more plastic container. And I started going through boxes and throwing stuff away. Now, I've heard it said that teachers and preachers are the world's worst pack rats. I can't vouch for every teacher, but this one is certainly a pack rat. That first day I got rid of boxes by consolidating and tossing. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff I tossed... old lotions, partially burned candles, and papers and papers. I started packin' a container of the kid's stuff, and it was quickly full. So I piled stuff on top of the container. By the time I was finished, I'd emptied about 10 boxes, packed 3 or 4 containers, and pretty much filled up my two new shelves. Soon there was another trip to Lowe's... more shelves... more containers. I found my poetry books that I used teaching high school... and a box of my student's poetry. Poems they had written for me, about me, and about their lives. Notes, books, books, and more books. I found (and threw away) notebook paper that was at least 17 years old. Pictures... lots of pictures. I tried not to look at too much... just make decisions... save or toss.

Decisions... I have a real problem with those. I mean, I have trouble deciding what I want for dinner. Going through 20+ years of stuff was HARD! Over my 27 years of teaching school, I've taught so many different things. Elementary school, junior high reading, junior high English, high school reading, high school English, and ESL. And I have books for all of 'em. Most of the elementary stuff I've taken to school, but what to do with all the stuff for teaching older students? Most teachers spend much of their own money each year for stuff for their classrooms and teaching. And when you look at 20 some odd years of teaching, it's probably an obscene amount. So there are a LOT of books, both for teachers and students, still boxed in my garage. I truly believe I'll end my teaching career in the very classroom in which I'm teaching now... but just in case!

When the dust settled Monday afternoon, there were probably 20 empty boxes (at least) littering the floor, a full trash can, and several boxes of trash. There are now four full sets of shelves, where everything is either boxed or packed in plastic. And lots and lots and lots of empty floor space. I also swept up who knows how many dust pans full of dirt, dobber nests, and dead grassy cobwebs. At present, there is still only room for one vehicle, but after the kid comes in this weekend and tosses or packs away her pile of stuff, there should be room for two... provided the second isn't as big as mine! All in all, it was an exercise in memories vs usage, but it was well worth it. And when I finally get two cars in there... I'll take a picture!

VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! It's vacation time here. We have a week off for Thanksgiving break, and believe me when I say... I AM thankful for the break! Of course, I brought home work to do, but I'm still free for a week!

Wednesday will see Jazzy heading out, and the child comin' in. I dread one, and look forward to the other. Thursday will find us at my parents, having our "traditional" pizza and beer, followed by Trivial Pursuit and dessert. For a while it looked like we were going to to the typical turkey and dressing "thang" but we got a last minute reprieve. Instead of rolls, my new assignment is a new Trivial Pursuit game... and I picked up the 25th Anniversary edition today. I'm not sure what the rest of the week will bring... nothing too involved, if I can help it!

For now, I'm just going to enjoy the last few days of Jazzy's visit. What do YOU have planned for Thanksgiving?

DJ Bass

Hey Y'all! Exciting things goin' on over at HotTrax this week. HotTraxSmooth is the featured station on Radio-WindowsMedia (http://www.windowsmedia.com/Mediaguide/Radio) and we've had a great response! I just finished a show over there and I had between 70 and 100 listeners! Wow, now that's a rush! Hopefully, one by one all of our stations will be featured and get the exposure. How cool would that be? By the way, there is a link on our web page (http://www.hottraxradio.com/) where you can log into the HotTraxLive stream if you have dial-up... give it a listen. Specifically, try it out Friday night... 8:00 EST! (Okay, that's my own little plug there! LOL)

Okay, my endeavor to introduce you to all of the awesome DJs of HotTraxRadio brings us around to the Bassman. What can I say about DJ Bass? I could tell you I have a huge crush on him, but that would embarrass me, so I probably shouldn't say that. I can tell you he is the father of DJ Rockit. And I haven't had the opportunity to meet him yet, but I plan on doing so come July in Kansas. Of course, you are all welcomed to come to Kansas and meet everyone... more info on that later! DJ Bass has several shows on HotTraxCounty. Check out the schedule at http://www.hottraxradio.com/HotTraxCountry/ to get the exact times. But I promise... if you like country music, you'll LOVE listenin' to the BassMan.

Readers, meet DJ Bass...

1. Why did you decide to become a DJ?

First of all I never dreamed of being a DJ. Nor did even think about it. Once my son started and turned me on to HotTrax, I was hooked as a listener. Then he came for a visit, and did a show from my home. We got to talking, and the next thing I knew was I was sayin' hello on the air. That was it. Started obsessively downloading country music, and playing with SAM that Matt loaded for me. Now I have swallowed the hook.

2. What is your favorite kind of music?

I do love classic rock. But as everyone knows country moves me the most.

3. What is your favorite thing about being a DJ?

I guess it would have to be the interaction with the staff, friends and family. However, this is my escape away from the craziness of my life. Everyday, just trying to make ends meet in today's world, in a country with no money, and doing construction, has made it tough. DJing gives me escape away from reality, if only for a few hours each week.

4. What do you do when you're not DJing?

Short and sweet. WORK, when I can find it.

5. Tell me something about you that your listeners might not know.

I am not that good with people. Can't hold a conversation for very long, even with my wife. Just thinking of what to say here has been very tough.

6. Anything else you'd like to share?

Since starting with HotTraxRadio, I have made many new friends. Even though I have never met them, I feel that I am a part of something much bigger than just friends. A new family. Thank you, Lizard Boss, for taking a chance on me.

DJ Sierra

I'm excited and honored to bring you another installation of "Meet the DJ" today! Today you get to meet DJ Sierra, who I've dubbed "The First Lady of HotTrax Radio." I became a full fledged HotTrax Radio listener at the end of December last year. On New Year's Day, the DJ's were attempting to go round the clock with live DJs. My first memory of DJ Sierra was that she was on for like 8 hours or more. And she was awesome! I think that was my first day to go into the chat room, and she was a big help. I have it on good authority that Sierra has been a DJ longer than any DJ in the HotTrax family. Sierra is scheduled on HotTrax Live Tuesday, Thursday, and Fridays from noon to 3 EST, and on HotTrax Country on Mondays, 1-4 PM. That show replays on Friday mornings at 5 EST. And though she's not on the schedule on Wednesday, if she's not working, she's usually there. And many days she doesn't have to work, she plays longer than she is scheduled. I love it on school holidays, and during the summer, when I can catch her shows. She is GREAT! Occasionally we get lucky and she fills in evenings when a scheduled DJ has to miss their show. As you can see, she truly is "The First Lady of HotTrax!"

Sierra was one of the people I had the chance to meet in Kansas this past summer. She is a lot of fun to be around. She is a beautiful lady, with a great personality- much like she is on the radio! She is also a woman of few words, so I've added some to her answers. Read on to find out more about this super DJ.

1. Why did you decide to become a DJ?

It was something "interesting" to do. [When you hear her, you'll think she was born to do this... she has a wonderful voice!]

2. What is your favorite kind of music?

Rock [This surprises me because she does a kick ass country show]

3. What is your favorite thing about being a DJ?

Playing good tunes for all the great listeners. [Sierra has a great following. She is very loved by her listeners.]

4. What do you do when you're not DJing?

I work and sleep. [And if she isn't doing one of those things, she also hangs out in our chat room- stop by and say hi!]

5. Tell me something about you that your listeners might not know.

I'm disabled.

6. Anything else you'd like to share?

No, that's about it. LOL [I told you she was a woman of few words!]

Oh, and FYI... this week Sierra will be doing a show on HotTrax Smooth, Thursday night beginning at 10 PM... catch it if you can!

DJ Tatianna

Today I'd like to introduce you to another one of the terrific HotTrax Radio DJs. DJ Tatianna came on the scene shortly after I made my debut. This was a good thing, because it kept me from being the "new kid on the block" for very long. I had the opportunity to spend about a week with Tat last summer. She came to my house to go to Kansas with us. So not only did we spend time together in Kansas, but the trip to and from, as well. She is a wonderful lady, with a winning personality that comes across when she DJs. And by now, everyone knows she loves all things pink! DJ Tatianna does two shows on HotTraxLive: Tat's Simply Sassy Sundays from 7-10 EST, and Wicked Wednesday with Tatianna from 10-midnight EST. Give her a listen... you will NOT be disappointed. And now, readers, meet DJ Tatianna.


1. Why did you decide to become a DJ?

I went to a Kansas Bash with some amazing people this last July. I had been asked several times before to become a DJ, but wasn't till this trip that I decided since I had given it a try there, that it wouldn't be that hard to do on my own. So here I am :)

2. What is your favorite kind of music?

I enjoy a lot of different kinds of music. I do, however, tend to listen to today's hits (top 40) more so then any other.

3. What is your favorite thing about being a DJ?

I love when I am playing songs and someone says, "WOW! I really liked that song." and asks me about it. I like to play music that people want to hear, and I enjoy the feedback from people that are listening.

4. What do you do when you're not DJing?

Where do I begin? LOL I have two beautiful teenage daughters that keep me busy with their lives and activities. I have recently started babysitting an 11 month old and a 14 month old, and I work at a Seafood/Steak Restaurant on weekend nights.

5. Tell me something about you that your listeners might not know.

I am a huge sports fan. I love high school sports all the way to the major/pro games. I LOVE NASCAR. I enjoy fishing, hunting and camping.

6. Anything else you'd like to share?

I would like to say that I have never in my life ever met/talked to more amazing people that have touched my life, and been there for me, the way HotTrax Radio people have. This includes anyone from yahoo, chat, and in person. Everyone here has welcomed me in from the beginning, and has never stopped caring. Thank You! It means a lot when you have friends that are like a family.

Monday Meltdown

Wow! What a weekend! Jazzy is visiting and we've had a great weekend. I even made a little headway cleaning out the garage! The Cowboys were off today, so I didn't have to worry about them. And Jimmie Johnson has all but clenched the Race for the Chase. And I've heard some GREAT music on HotTrax. This will be another busy week, as we come to the end of the second grading period. Then just one more week until Thanksgiving break! I am SO looking forward to having a week off from school. Then it's only three weeks till Christmas break. That time always goes quickly at school, but it's hectic and the closer Christmas gets, the wilder the kids become. You'd think they'd remember that Santa is watching! I hope everyone had as good a weekend as I've had. And be sure to tune in Monday evening for my "Monday Meltdown" show, where I'll attempt to fix all the wrongs that seem to occur on Monday. If you haven't tuned in yet, just go to http://www.hottraxradio.com/, then click on the HotTraxLive link at the top of the page. From there, you can tune in to the show. Be sure to add "HotTraxLive" to your Yahoo Messenger list so you can talk to me, and make your request. You can also find our chat room from the "HotTraxLive" link. Come join us... I promise you'll forget all about your Monday troubles!

DJ Madman

The next DJ to accept my request for an interview was DJ Madman. I have been blessed to have met the Madman on two occasions. Once in New Orleans, where we walked the streets talking, and again this past summer in Kansas, at the HotTrax Bash. I also got to meet his beautiful girlfriend, Jennifer, in Kansas.


The Madman has a great sense of humor (I'm just not sure about his infatuation with Lucille... his machine gun!). DJ Madman and DJ Rockit had a war of promos going for a while after the Kansas bash... too funny! If you haven't heard them, ask me (or any of the DJs) to play them sometime.


Madman does three shows on HotTrax Live. On Thursday evenings at 10:00 EST is "Rock & Roll 101." This is a fun show, and sometimes DJ Madman has a quiz for the listeners. Sunday afternoon is "Madman's Sunday CD Review" where the DJ review various CDs... usually CDs that he has picked up for not much money, but with very interesting music choices. And my favorite Madman show, "Madman's 6 Pack Saturday" from 6 - 9 PM EST. Listeners are invited to check out Madman's playlist (http://www.hottraxradio.com/) and choose 6 songs. It is always fun to hear what the listeners choose. No matter which show he's doing, the Madman always has a good time, which translates into a good time for his listeners.



Readers, I'd like you to meet DJ Madman.




1. Why did you decide to become a DJ?

I can't say that it was something I've always dreamed of, but after meeting several DJs at a get together in New York, it was unavoidable. I was talking to Patty (Fantasy) and she asked, "When are you going to DJ"? So immediately after returning from New York, I started working on a play list and tagging mp3 files



2. What is your favorite kind of music?

I love ALL music, but I guess if I had to have a label, it would be 80's metal/Hair band/Classic Rock.

3. What is your favorite thing about being a DJ?

The listeners, and the fact that they come back week after week to hear my shows. It's really heart warming to know that people actually enjoy what I do and take time out of their schedule to listen.

4. What do you do when you're not DJing?

I'm a Personnel Manager for a Marine Transportation company. Besides work, I am constantly working on my mp3 library. I also do a lot of research on music and different bands. I live in southeastern Louisiana, so I try to enjoy the outdoors (hunting/fishing) as much as possible.

5. Tell me something about you that your listeners might not know.

I applied for a U.S. patent.

6. Anything else you'd like to share?

Thank God for Internet Radio. I've made so many new friends because of it.........................now where's my Damn Machine Gun ??

DJ Alex

If you haven't noticed, I've become quite taken with internet radio... or perhaps I should say, with HotTrax Radio. In an effort to convince my readers to listen in, I'd like to introduce you to some of our DJs. I sent six questions to each DJ, and I will report on each as they answer.

The first DJ to respond was DJ Alex. It is very fitting that the first DJ I write about is DJ Alex, as he is the reason I listen to HotTrax Radio. And because of that, I credit him for introducing me to Jazzy! Alex and I have been friends for many years. We have never had the opportunity to meet, but I am hopeful that one day soon we will.

Alex started with HotTrax about a year ago. He does a show on HotTrax Live, "Rollin' and Tumblin' with Alex" on Monday mornings, 10:00 EST. Unfortunately, I don't get to listen to him during the school year. But during the summer and on holidays I get the chance, and let me tell you, he does a FANTASTIC show! Alex has the ability to mix genres of music, and make it seem effortless. He puts in a lot of work on his shows, and you can certainly tell this. He peppers his show with interesting information about the music he is playing. If, like me, you can't catch Alex live, his show is replayed on Thursday mornings, 5:00 EST. Alex also does a recorded show on HotTrax Smooth, "Swing Into Monday", on at 1:00 AM, and replayed on Smooth Tuesday morning at 10:00.


Readers, meet DJ Alex.





1. Why did you decide to become a DJ?

It fulfilled an ambition I have cherished for many years and never thought I'd get the chance to make good. I loved the idea of people listening to MY choice of music.

2. What is your favorite kind of music?

I really do have catholic tastes and its hard to choose because it depends on my mood - Rock, rhythm n blues, country, folk - all fall within my taste list as people who have heard my show will know

3. What is your favorite thing about being a DJ?

I guess having the chance to project something of my personality on air while playing my favourite music at the same time

4. What do you do when you're not DJing?

I am a keen sportsperson. I play tennis, squash and racquetball and also do weight training. Can't understand why I'm still overweight - oh yes forgot I love my beer too

5. Tell me something about you that your listeners might not know.

I am a published writer of erotic fiction.

6. Anything else you'd like to share?

I'm English (I wonder if they noticed that ) but actually born in Isle of Man (tiny little island in Irish Sea) and am trying (late in life) to learn Manx, the native Gaelic tongue of my forefathers.

It's Monday, and I'm Still Here

It's been a while since I've spoken here. Things have been busy! The school year is breezing by. Today starts the 10th week of school. I'm working harder than ever before. Most days I work till 5:00, and still bring work home. But I have a good class, so that helps.

Things at the radio station are really hoppin'! We have 4 streams now, three of them with live programming. There's HotTrax Live, which is primarily rock music, HotTrax Country, which as the name implies is country music, HotTrax Smooth, which is smooth Jazz and soft pop music, and the newest, HotTrax Alternative, which is new and alternative rock. Right now it is completely automated, and run by DJ Rockit. It's really cool, and you can even make a request there. If you haven't given us a listen yet, go to the web page (http://www.hottraxradio.com/) and pick a stream. Between the four streams, there's something for everyone. There is even a kid's radio show on Monday afternoon, and DJ Teen does a set on Sunday afternoon. You can also get to our chat rooms from the web page. We have recently moved our chat rooms to our own server. When ever a DJ is onair, they are in the chat room. Pop in and visit!

I'm still doing two shows a week, Monday 7-9 EST, and Friday 8-11. I had the opportunity last week to do a slot on the country stream, and I really enjoyed that. I may look at the schedule and see if there is a slot I can fill on a permanent basis. Check out the schedule- things have changed a bit with the implementation of the new streams.

The biggest news this past week has been the return of DJ Tatianna. It's great to have her back with the HotTrax family. She has a new show on Sunday... be sure to check her out. DJ Russ, on the country stream, has been out for a couple of weeks, but we hope to have him back in the next week or two. He does a great show, with lots of independent artists. Watch the schedule for his return!

Okay, I suppose I'd better head out to get cleaned up for the day to come. I have early duty this week... can't be late for that! Y'all have a great day!

Breezy Weekend

Well, for me, Ike was a breeze! We had a gentle rain that lasted most of Saturday, and it was a little windy, but nothing like what I had expected. And we needed the rain! Unfortunately, Ike wasn't as kind to the coast, and I ask you to join me in keeping those people in your prayers.
I had a good weekend here. I got quite a bit accomplished, which is unusual for me! Mostly school work, but I did manage to get the laundry done and the kitchen cleaned up. I thought I'd turned on the dishwasher last night, but I guess I didn't... it's running right now, though!
Now I just have to get through Monday. No matter what the day brings, however, I know that it'll all be fixed tonight. It's my "Monday Meltdown" show on HotTrax, 7:00-9:00 ET (6:00-8:00 REAL time, lol). I usually start off that show with some mellow stuff... soft pop and country, and by the end I usually pick up the tempo some so that you're ready to rock with Jazzy when I'm finished. Generally, I just play what makes me feel good unless I get requests. So if you're not doing anything tonight, give me a listen... and make a request. It's easy... all you have to do is add HotTraxRadio to your Yahoo buddy list. Check out my playlist on the HotTrax website, and then make a request. We've even added a new stream that allows those with dial up, or slow service, to listen!
Okay... I'm off to get ready to face the day. Have a great Monday, y'all!

Ike Is Coming

Another week, another hurricane coming our way. Last week, what was left of Gustav parked over us for a couple of days, bringing some rain and a LOT of wind, and it looks like what is left of Ike, when it hits land, will be coming over us as well. Fun, fun. Looks like Friday afternoon will find me in yard protection mode... making sure all my potted plants are protected, and my hanging things brought under cover. Even as I type that, I know I will not have the worst of it. My heart and prayers go out to those who are in Ike's direct path as it hits the coast. I had the occasion to be about 90 miles from Galveston once when a hurricane hit, and it's not fun. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to be hit with the wind and water more than once, much less more than once a year. All of my friends on the coast will be in thoughts this weekend.

Hi Y'all!

Hi... I'm Texas and I love HotTrax Radio. I've been a DJ there for a couple of months now, and I've been a listener and a fan for about 8 months. I have discovered a lot of new music, and made some GREAT friends. If you haven't listened, check it out... http://www.HotTraxRadio.com . I am on the schedule twice a week... Monday and Friday. Tune in, check out my playlist, and make your request!